


In ruinam

by orphan_account



Series: Amorabundus [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 00:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19757131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 4 times you try to make it clear to Zoro that you are not, in fact, a bad person, and 1 time he figures it out himself.Intertwined/your POV with/of Silentium. You don't speak Japanese.





	1. Indubito

You hadn’t meant to avoid Zoro- it was just an afterthought when it boiled down to the basics- he was a quiet guy and you were, by necessity, a quiet girl. He had scowling eyes and scrunched up brows almost every time you saw him, which didn’t help either.

You guessed Luffy saw the good in him, but you couldn’t quite agree with that yet.

Especially one uneventful evening after Usopp has joined your crew- now that you’ve got a more spacious ship, Nami’s taken to cooking food and you help where you can, though she can’t instruct you. Praise college life for giving you some skills in the cooking department.

The sun is going down and you are all eating and having drinks- the guys, in particular, are letting the alcohol you’d acquired get to their head. And then it happens.

In a quiet moment the swordsman slams his fist on the table and yells something at you- you don’t know what, but you are guessing it isn’t good, and you are reminded of his three swords and glare the first time you saw him. 

Your heart beats in your throat as you tense.

Nami’s next to you and when your hand pinches hers, she’s quick to the rescue- she yells something back at him, more vigorous than he did, before she slams his head into the table.

A bit too much, perhaps. Then again, Nami seemed prone to knocking people into submission if the need arose.

It makes you feel bad- you’re sure it’s some sort of misunderstanding, somehow, considering the easy (if violent) resolution- and you make a mental note to make it up to him.

The next morning, before the crew is up, you tiptoe into the kitchen and find a dozen eggs and make an omelet. You knew he’d been in the crow’s nest, and you had no idea how to get up there, but you figured he could use some breakfast.

When you step outside, you hold onto the door for some courage.

“Zoro!”

First, it's a tuft of green hair that sticks out from above the wood, and then a tanned forehead, and then two lazy brown eyes. You half expect him to crawl back into the nest and ignore you, but after a few silent seconds- save for some birds chirping- he jumps out and lands right in front of you.

The door isn’t a form of courage anymore, it’s now the _only_ thing keeping you upright as you try to understand how he jumped down without hurting himself. 

“Jesus!” you yelp, and he raises an amused eyebrow as you take a few deep breaths before pointing inside, “I made breakfast.”

His eyes follow your finger and when he sees the steaming omelette, his eyebrows raise and stern eyes soften the tiniest bit. And then his feet shuffle over to the table and he sits in front of the plate- but doesn’t take a bite before looking at you.

Expectantly.

You cautiously sit down next to him- your shoulders brush briefly and you can’t help stealing glances, though you are pretending to admire the simple blue tablecloth.

You’ve only placed one fork on the table- if Luffy were to find out about the omelette, he’d just suck it up or something anyway- and as the swordsman just stares, you can only think of two reasons. Either he has  _ never  _ had an omelette for breakfast, or he  _ hates  _ omelettes.

You ignore the fact that he may think it’s poisoned  _ because he doesn’t trust you _ .

When he gets up, you bite your lip and expect the door to slam and black boots to stomp away, but instead, he opens a drawer and then sits back down. When you dare to look again, it’s because his shoulder brushes against yours again as he shoves the plate in between you two and hands you a fork.

You both eat quietly. 

At least, until Zoro’s finished his half- though he ate slower than he usually does, it’s still pretty fast- and looks at you poking the dish.

“食品をありがとう” he says- a mere whisper- and though you don’t know what he says, a pink dust frames your cheeks as you look up at him.

You don’t know how long you both sit there, shoulders against each other, eyes averted, but it’s long enough for Nami to notice as she walks past the kitchen.

She decides, though she’s got other things on her mind right now, to praise herself for leading you two to this moment, and she hopes you will remember her help. 


	2. Caesa

You thought you were dead the moment the rock-solid, slimy fist connected with your chest- you’d never gotten punched, or kicked, or did any of the sort to anyone. It felt like all the air got knocked out as well, especially when you realized you’d flown  _ through  _ a wall. It was a first.

A terrifying first.

A terrifying first accompanied by a screaming ache in your head and in your bones.

You distinctly remember blacking out for a short while, and feeling groggy throughout the entire fight- you don’t know how you win, you don’t know how you end up leaning over the battered fishman, dragging breaths, but you somehow do and start to consider the possibility of a guardian angel with boxing gloves.

Of course, it’s a small feat compared to the fact that Luffy completely demolished a large building- 5 stories of yellow walls and tacky tiles.

You only notice how badly your arm is cut up- debris stuck in it, stinging, skin splitting open like barbed wire had been wrapped around it and fastened too tight- when Nami is crying into your shirt, your one-armed hug the tightest you’d ever given as people swarm Luffy.

You both pull back and she wipes some tears out of your eyes, as well- your hand not particularly eager to let go just yet.

You don’t miss how everyone else is beaten up as well- wet and slimy and bloody, the 6 of you make quite a sight, you’re sure. 

You don’t miss Zoro’s stare, either.

* * *

The day after, on the ship, you are out of it. You aren’t too keen on just hanging around the crew just because you can, and in fact you avoid most of them throughout the day.

You don’t know why, but the fact that you couldn’t tell anyone- tell them about your fears, the fight, what happened, the beating pain in your arm, what other monsters could be hiding up ahead in this adventure- made you feel sullen and unbelonging. 

Though Sanji, the sweetheart, tries his utmost best to cheer you up with wonky french phrases and the occasional drink or dessert, it doesn’t help. He seems hurt at your forced smile but in his eyes you can see that he kind of gets it.

Zoro does not.

You know that, for a fact, when you are sitting atop a barrel, sipping from some fruity cocktail Sanji’d pushed into your weary fingers earlier, down in the storage room. The swordsman comes in with a mission, clearly- the door slams open, he stalks toward a crate with oranges, picks it up and stalks back towards the door.

It’s only when his hand is on the knob that he realizes you were there- he turns.

“Don’t mind me,” you hum, internally laughing at your attempt to talk to someone who can’t understand you, “just hanging out in the storage room.”

He puts the crate on the barrel next to the door, and stands there, crossing his arms with a raised eyebrow.

And for once, you engage in what can only be the most idiotic stress-relief of the century.

“Don’t give me that stupid look,” you start your rant, hand tightening on the thick glass, “aways with the raised eyebrows and everyone kind of tiptoeing around me just to make sure that I feel extra-”

You take a deep breath through your nose- suddenly, angrily- and you don’t hear the way the glass starts cracking under your hold.

“Extra not supposed to be here.”

In that moment, several things break.

Your composure, for one. Instead of an angry scowl, there are now tears threatening the corners of your eyes- you bite your lip in a futile attempt to stop them, cheeks heating at the embarrassment of your meltdown.

But more importantly, you smash the glass in your hand- leftover cocktail spilling on your thighs and shirt, sharp ends digging into your already battered hand.

And perhaps, most importantly, the swordsman’s calm, cocky look breaks into what you deem to be annoyance, but with a different flair than when he’s annoyed at the several idiots the crew contains (among which himself, you smile at yourself internally).

He strides over and carefully makes sure there’s no glass anywhere near you or him before you register thick arms wrapping around your shoulders and before you know it, your face is plastered against a white, smelly shirt- there’s no escaping his hold, but you don’t want to.

You sit there sobbing for what seems like an eternity before you give him a few pats on the back to signal that you’re doing alright.

It is in that moment, when his face pulls back but his arms still hold yours as if you’ll fall apart at any moment (again), that you realize you are in _deep_ shit- cheeks flushed and breaths fluttery.


	3. Tutela

Robin  _ knew _ . Of  _ course  _ she knew. The woman knew absolutely  _ everything _ , and on top of that she was the only one who spoke English. No more muttering to yourself- you learned that the hard way when she giggled after you complimented Zoro’s impeccable abs. Or that one time you’d made a plate fall on your foot and Zoro had rushed to help you- leaving you muttering about ‘moss balls on a white horse’ or something or the other.

And when she had been gone, though shortly, you kind of felt like you missed a part of yourself.

When you saw her crying and screaming, shackled, your heart tore into a million pieces. You remembered how crushed you were at Zoro’s sobbing, or Nami’s defeated gurgles. 

And then she was back with the crew, gleaming- sparkling, even, which was a breathtaking look on her because she was already such a beauty to begin with- and you took the time to sit with her on the bench, feet enjoying the feeling of grass tickling your skin. She’s reading a book, but you know she is ready for conversation.

She always makes time for conversation with you, since you have nobody else to count on in that regard.

“I fell asleep on his shoulder,” you mutter quietly, “and he fell asleep on my head.”

She does a great job of hiding her initial reaction, but you can see the way she crosses her legs to get closer to you- to the incoming gossip and feelings.

“What a wonderful progression, Gaijin-san,” she smiles- nay, grins, predatory, just like you’d expected.

“I don’t think he looks at it the same way,” you muse as your gaze turns towards the crow’s nest- the dull echo of weights being thrown around is barely audible. But you’ve got a way of picking Zoro out of the crowd anywhere.

The green hair helps.

“How can you be sure of that?” Robin asks- book finally closing as she leans in fully with crossed arms.

“He left in the morning.”

One of Robin’s devil fruit hands brushes some hair out of your face and gives your head a reassuring pat.

“You have to remember that Bushido-san most likely hasn’t done this before,” she says, “ever.”

“No excuse for being-” you struggle to find the right way to explain, “I mean, he must know what kind of effect that has on a gal, right?”

You turn your eyes to her deep blue ones and notice a playful glint.

“I somehow think he doesn’t. Did Bushido-san even have friends before the crew?”

“Johnny and Yosaku.”

Robin gives you a raised eyebrow.

“Whatever, he can’t be that dumb, right?” you say with a sigh as your head bonks against the wood of the ship.

Her silence tells you enough.

“Would he really be that dumb?” you muse it more to yourself, really, trying to convince yourself of how futile this really is, but Robin is still right next to you and listening.

“He is not the brightest of the bunch,” she smiles, playful.

“No, well, that’s true, but it’s not a very bright bunch to begin with. The standards are set remarkably low.”

“How cruel,” she chuckles, and you let out a snort.

“Thanks,” you tell her, “I hope I can count on you when he inevitably and in a dumb way breaks my heart.”

She just hums, but the stray arm that patted your head gives your shoulder a squeeze.

* * *

You decide to sulk in the bathhouse. It’s an amazing thing- Nami took a lot of care explaining all the levers to you- you’d used a goddamn bathroom before, you’d whistled under your breath. Nonetheless, the sense of privacy and the sheer luxury was undeniable. She was right- the rocking of the waves really did make it feel like some high class spa.

You don’t know how long your are soaking in the bath when the door opens.

“夕食の準備ができて” Zoro’s voice says, but you don’t really react- you just slip a bit further down.

You could have never predicted what happens next. 

You are shoulder-deep into the tub- head laying back- when you crack an eye open and see him rushing towards you, dragging you half out of it.

He must’ve thought you’d fainted.

You haven’t, though, and your arms are now covering whatever needs covering- but he’s not even looking. He’s just staring at your neck- trying his best to have his eyes stay there, clearly- and swallowing deeply when he realizes you are feeling perfectly fine.

“Hello,” you manage to croak, not able to stop your eyes from roaming to his lips.

_ Fuck _ .

In a few short moments, he drops you into the tub again- the water splashes and hits him, but he doesn’t care, he’s out the door in no time- you do catch a hint of pink at the tips of his ears.

The door nearly falls right off the hinges, leaving you alone with strings of thought you’d wanted to kill but couldn’t, heat in your cheeks and stomach and in between your legs.

_ Fucker _ .

You both avoid each other’s gaze during dinner.

It’s only when you reach to pick up some vegetables- the only damn thing Luffy left alone, mostly- and you can’t reach, that he looks at you.

He looks because he was going for the same bowl, and your hands are touching. Nobody’s noticing because dinner time is always wild with the Strawhats, but you feel like you’re going to explode.

Your heart pounds in your head and you look up rather shyly- his brown eyes are equally wide and he’s looking...ruffled.

“済みません！”

“Sorry!”

You both pull away at the same time and don’t touch the vegetables again, that night.


	4. Astutus

You’re pretty sure everyone had you figured out. How you’d just always end up in the same place as Zoro,  _ coincidentally _ . After your little adventures together, it somehow felt logical to follow him around- Robin often was busy trying to put out whatever fire the others were lighting, anyway, and you felt like you two had a silent understanding of each other.

Mishap in the bath not counted into that equation.

Nonetheless, when you are climbing up to the crow’s nest with a book in hand- ‘Japanese for children’- you actually expected to be alone today, able to read words out loud incorrectly and without judgement.

No such luck.

He’s done training- sitting hunched over on the bench with a towel around his neck, and he’s using it to wipe some sweat off his forehead- and you remain frozen with only your head sticking up from the hole that leads down the ship.

It takes him a few moments to notice you, but when he does, he’s not startled. You carefully climb up further and hold up the book as a way of showing you’re not there to interfere with his training.

When you sit down a few feet from him, however, he gets up and sits down  _ right  _ next to you.

You try to calm your wild heart by taking a few deep breaths and opening the book. It has an illustration of a family- mom, dad, son, daughter, a dog and a cat- and though it’s laughable how outdated that idea is, you carefully read out the sounds.

You’re taken aback when a tanned finger points to one of the words and Zoro pronounces it, slightly correcting you.

You repeat after him with a blush on your face.

When you turn the page, there’s the son and the daughter with their friends- several adjectives to describe them, and you carefully spell out every word in Japanese and glance at your study-buddy every once in a while for approval.

When he points at something again, you’re guessing it’s because you made another mistake, but instead he’s pointing at the English word.

“Ah, handsome-” you say, also pointing at it’s Japanese equivalent.

“Hansome?” he tries, and you smile.

“No, hand-some. With a d.”

“Han-some.”

He turns the page as if he’s proud of himself, though he shouldn’t really be, and the next page depicts mom and dad kissing.

You hope that your eyes can burn through the page and that it will disintegrate before you, but Zoro seems undeterred as he pronounces the word and looks to you for the English version.

“Kiss.”

You mumble it through trembling lips and when you finally dare to turn, he’s closer than you expected.

When did he suddenly become a master at seduction, jesus christ?!

You, against all odds, don’t let yourself pull back- you don’t want him to think you’re not interested, but you’re not quite brave enough to just lean in and go for it either-so you settle for studying his face up close.

When his fingers trail over yours and move up your arm- slowly, and they’re warm and rough and perfect- you take a breath and try to ignore the heat in your cheeks.

“Zoro-”

You whisper it and his hand finally rests on the back of your neck, playing with some stray hairs. He whispers yours back and leans in- noses brushing against each other, his weird earring ringing softly and-

“ 島！島があります！なぜあなたは島について語らなかったのですか！”

It’s Luffy and he’s yelling- you know he’s talking about the approaching island, but in that moment, neither of you care as you both scramble towards the opposite ends of the bench.

Zoro gets up and gives you one last glance- annoyed at Luffy, shrugging- and you trace the route his fingers took with care.

So damn close.


	5. Aquam Sanctam

Sanji had found Zoro bleeding from pretty much anywhere he could, standing in a huge circle of dried up blood, that was most likely Zoro’s. You only find out about this fact when you hesitantly follow Chopper, picking up Zoro’s swords- he never just ‘left’ his swords- and when you hear the reindeer panic, you know what’s coming.

Time stands still when you see him standing there- when he collapses, and Sanji carries him inside, and when Robin urges you to follow her one of the swords falls and with it, your composure.

You don’t leave Chopper’s side after that. He sometimes leaves yours- to ask Robin what you’d like to eat or drink and then to fetch it, and it is heartwarming that the reindeer made sure you had a cozy spot to sit in while waiting for the swordsman to wake up, so you reward him with a well-placed smile or hug every once in a while.

You force your eyes to stay open for two days, but then you finally give in to the sleep occupying your brain.

You could’ve guessed there’d be a nightmare- one by one, you see your friends, nakama, standing in the same spot, bleeding- and when it’s once again the view of Zoro, you run.

But your legs don’t carry you forward. 

When the dream-Zoro opens his tired eyes, he stumbles toward you and in a last effort, drags a bloodied hand over your face.

You wake with heaving breaths and almost drop the white sword, but manage to catch it when you realize the real, actual Zoro is touching your cheek. There’s bandages everywhere and it’s a pity you can’t feel the roughness of his skin, but his warmth seeps through anyway- and more tears start flowing as you realize that he finally, actually woke up. Chopper awkwardly scurries away, muttering something.

You only sit up for a few seconds before you grasp at the sword and wrap your arm- gently, carefully- around his shoulders, finding it at least a bit more comforting to cry into his chest. If it hurts, he doesn’t make it clear- the hand that was on your cheek travels around your body as well and grips your shoulder tight.

After what seems like an eternity, you figure it isn’t quite courteous to blow your nose on his shirt, so you sit up and grab some cloth that’s just there- probably unrelated to Robin’s heels clicking away.

"ありがとう"

You don’t hear him the first time, trying to figure out where to put the cloth soaked with your snot and tears- but the second time he repeats it while placing his hand on yours- the one that’s holding his sword- you pause, finally.

You both sit like that for quite some time. You know, because Chopper is lingering at the edge of your ‘zone’, pacing back and forth and stealing glances- every once in a while, when your gaze meets the reindeer’s, he flusters and paces faster. Some of the pirates closest to you are whispering and pointing, and you’re glad you can’t understand what they’re saying. 

You do see how Zoro is getting annoyed at the audience. So, when he pulls himself up, together with you- hand not leaving yours- and drags you away outside, you’re not really surprised. 

However, you have been fighting for 24 hours before staying awake for several hours, and then had a nightmare, so your legs really don’t like this activity. You make this clear by suddenly just stopping- tugging a little on his hand.

He doesn’t sit down when you do.

In fact, he actually looks pretty twitchy and on-edge, and you know it’s not from battle, because this is  _ Zoro _ , not Usopp- so what is it? 

Time crawls by as you just sit like that- Zoro standing a few feet in front of you, staring, and you just sitting, staring right back. 

And then, much less careful than before- no long touches, no warning- his fingers wrap around your collar and he pulls you up with surprising ease. A grunt escapes his lips when your noses smack into each other, but you are more preoccupied with the fact that he just kissed you.

Is kissing you.

Currently.

Right now.

Your hands wrap around his huge arms in an effort to not have him just hoover you above the ground, and he leans in closer when your feet hit the ground again- he’s taller after all, and it’s really nice that he  _ lifted you up  _ to make it simpler for you, but a girl can only float for so long.

When you pull away for a breather- completely red, lips puffed up and eyes fluttering open again- he’s also heaving breaths, looking positively radiant.

You interlock your hand with his and are glad he agrees to stay outside a bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's a-coming? Smut's a-coming! 
> 
> I'll post it in a separate story though, for people who aren't into that kinda thing.  
> Also; I'm horrible at keeping up with comments, so thanks for all the support!


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